My Stupid Excuses or Conversation With Myself

You are TIRED.
You just finished work. It`s 6 PM.
You had a difficult day.

You have NO ENERGY.
You got problems at home.
None of your FRIENDS are there to support you.

You are mad at your friends.
You don’t have enough MONEY.
You broke the screen of your phone.

[the list goes on]

IT’S OKAY to be tired. Get used to it. GET SOME REST.

IT’S OKAY that your friends are not supporting you – THEY HAVE PROBLEMS OF THEIR OWN [just like you do].

It’s okay that you have problems at home. Graduate from university, get a good job.

Send her flowers [or something]. Improve your relationship with her.

It’s okay to be short of money. SPEND LESS ON DUMB STUFF. Cut your expenses.

It’s okay that the screen of phone is broken. YOUR PHONE IS STILL WORKING.

Stop “crying”.
You have to work.
What’s the next thing on your to-do list?

Blogging With Smartphone

“90% of what I publish on my page,” he said. “I do it with THIS DEVICE.”

He showed his iPhone 5, lifting it above his bold head, so everyone could see it [in 2014 iPhone 5 was STILL cool]. He was addressing some 50 business students in the audience.

He was middle-height. Middle-aged. Bold headed. One of the most popular bloggers in Uzbekistan.

He had beard.

“This guy should be really brave to have a beard like this,” I thought. At those times it was forbidden to grow beard in Uzbekistan [it’s not totally allowed even now].

“I write my thoughts and ideas whenever they come to my mind,” he continued. “I can be in office. On commute. In a car. Or outside working out.”

Obviously, when you are working out, you don’t have your laptop with you. So what do bloggers do when “inspiration” comes?

They blog with the device they have AT HAND – a smartphone.

I believe, smartphone is one of the most incredible inventions of the history of humankind.

I cannot imagine my life without my smartphone [in fact, nobody can. Unless you’re 70].

Chances are, you are reading this ON YOUR SMARTPHONE right now [ isn’t it true? 😉 ]

The possibilities of your phone in your hand is incredible.

We should APPRECIATE this device WAY MORE.

Father & Son

“Eng asosiysi – SOG’LIK bo’lsa bo’ldi [The most important thing is GOOD HEALTH,]” he told me on Messanger call. “Boshqa hamma narsa topilaveradi [Everything else you can find along the way]”.

We talked for more than an hour today.

Whenever I talk to this person, I feel energized, fresh, ready to go out and take the world under my merciful control.

“My son studies abroad too,” he boasted. “Just like you.”

“Yeah, I know” I said. He goes to medical school in Moscow, just started the second year.

“He doesn’t want to come back to Uzbekistan,” he laughed talking about his son. “Even on his summer vacations. My son says that he has nothing to do here. Uzbekistan is not interesting anymore.”

He was talking about his son so proudly. You could feel it in his voice: “My son is becoming a RESPECTABLE DOCTOR.”

At this moment, thoughts popped up in my head: “If MY DAD knew that I was studying in Europe… if he was alive… would he be proud of me too?”

Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe he would want me to continue my studies at Westminster university [in Uzbekistan campus]. Maybe he would want me to study in the Middle East or America or Asian countries like Japan.

Maybe he would NOT want me to study at all and go into SALES AND BUSINESS [where you don`t really need a degree].

I don`t know what would make him feel proud of me. And probably I will not know this, until I die, go to the Heaven, meet my dad there, ask him “Daddy, have I made you proud?”

Only then I will know the answer.

I believe that the ONLY BASIC REASON why we [sons] study hard, work hard, struggle, sweat, husle to achieve something… the only FUNDAMENTAL reason, motivation is…. to make our PARENTS PROUD.

We don`t talk about this enough, even with our parents.

Even when we hate our parents, we hate them because they`re NOT proud of us. Isn`t that true?

We hate it when they CRITICISE us.

We want them to be ALWAYS proud of us. Their approval is the most delicious REWARD for our hard work.

When I become a dad [inshaallah]… when I have my own kids… maybe I`ll not be able to give them all the fancy things that my paycheck won`t afford… but inshaallah I will make sure that my children will AWAYS be feeling that I`m proud of them [at least, just because they`re my children].

Focus On The Now

Feel the screen. Feel it PHYSICALLY. Feel it with your fingers.

Look around!
Look how things MOVE around you.

Feel how you BREATH. Seriously. Feel how air FILLS YOUR LUNGS.

Feel how YOUR CHEST broadens and goes back again.

Isn’t it amazing?

You are LIVING…

Own Apartment

Own Apartment

I am on tram.
On my way to University.
Thoughts in my head: “I have my own flat now. I can’t believe it.”

I never had my own apartment before. If I look back… I lived either in my mom’s flat, or rented a ROOM in a student dormitory living with 3 other roommates.

Uzbek cool saying in this situation would be: “Odamlarga o’xshab yashaylik biz ham!” [“living normally like a HUMAN now”].

And this is totally different experience. Totally different comfort. Own bedroom. Own kitchen [with everything you need in it]. Bloody own bathroom [which only you can use].

“When are you gonna invite us for house-warming party?” some of my friends are asking me.

Anytime, my friends. My door is always open for you [just don’t touch my bathroom].

“What a fuck is wrong with living with a ROOMMATE?!” my ex-roommates are gonna object me [I know that for sure, they will do it at least in their heads].

“Bro,” I will respond to them. “I was happy to share a room with you. Honestly. All I’m saying is that an APARTMENT is a totally different experience [because you have your own bathroom].”

Why I Left SAP [part 2]

Today… 2 PM… raining…

“Oh, by the way…,” exclaimed one of my colleagues at DHL [we are going out of the office, to have some fresh air]. “I love your blog!”

“Oh, thank you, bro,” I said.

“I loved your last post… about… eeehm…” he made a thoughtful pause, looking down, trying to remember the title of it.

“About your last job… ”

“SAP,” I completed his sentence.

“Yeah…,” he looked at me and smiled, as if making fun of SAP.

“You know why I like your blog? Because your stories are taken from your REAL LIFE, real experience. It`s so interesting to read it. I read your blogs even though I hate READING in general.”

“Ahaha! I’m happy you like it, man”, I smiled again.

“But you know…,” he decided to criticise me a little bit.

“In that situation with your manager you weren’t completely innocent either. You should’ve discussed your work hours with management. Don’t you think?”

“But I never said that I made no mistake. There was a misunderstanding between me and my manager. I messed up too,” I said.

[I admit my fault. I really do.]

“But it’s normal to make mistakes like this,” I said thinking in my head “especially when it’s only the SECOND WEEK at your job”.

“And If EVERY TIME I make a mistake,” I continued. “My manager will be YELLING at me like that, I can never work at such place. Even this company is fucking Google [or any other fancy company you dream of working for].”

“Oh yeah. That makes sense. Nobody has a right to treat you like that,” he agreed with me.

I want you to understand this: I didn’t leave SAP because they didn’t allow me “to come to work whenever I want”.

I left SAP because my manager was SHOUTING at me, making me feel MISARABLE in the eyes of other people.

Just think about this:

We are spending almost HALF of our lives at work.
Don’t you want to spend it with people that you LIKE?

Sometimes at work I get to do tasks that I absolutely HATE doing. But I still do them, because I’m PAID for it. I need to get my salary at the end of the month and pay my bills.

But I will NEVER work with PEOPLE whom I DON`T LIKE.

[especially if that person is my boss]

Why I Left SAP or #1 Reason Why People Leave Their Jobs

[I actually left SAP in July… decided to publish it on my blog only today.]

“How come are you here? We were looking for you. You have a schedule, right?” she yelled me in front of everybody, when I was passing by the kitchen.

“But… I have flexible working hours. My contract is a STUDENT contract, which allows me to be at university part of the day,” — that’s what I thought IN MY HEAD.

But I replied to her only this: “I’m coming from University…” hoping that she will read my thoughts.

“You can’t come to work like this… whenever you want!” she shouted at me again, making me feel rather miserable.

This is when I understood that I cannot work at this place anymore. After 2 days, I resigned.

[as I was still on probation period, my contract allowed me to leave the job on a such short notice].

Last year I remember reading a business article in one of the Australian journals [something like “Forbes”, but less fancier]. The article was saying: “statistically, in about 90 percent of the cases, employees leave the jobs NOT because of the company or salary. They leave the job because of the MANAGER.”

That is so freaking true.

Because if I look back, and remember all the times when I left all my previous jobs… The only big reason for my resignation was my MANAGER [@my_managers, no offence.]

Thank God, in August I was offered a job at DHL [for a muslim… “Alhamdulillah” is the word here].

So now, when people ask me “why did you leave SAP? People dream of working for this company!”, I like responding to them: “I just got a better offer from DHL. More salary. More interesting position: Project Manager.”

Actually, this is true: I really got a better offer.

So proud of this. Now I`m a “Project Manager” [funny part is: I don`t even have a degree yet 😄].

Apple or Huawei

In this world there are two types of people:
1. People who LOVE Apple products.
2. People who HATE Apple products.

[well, there are the third type of people too, like my grandma, who don`t really care about Apple at all.]

The other day we went to Alza [tech shop in Prague] with a friend of mine. He wanted to get a WATCH for himself.

This shop is so big that you can literally find equipments starting from smart FRIDGES to electric TOOTHBRUSHES.

“Hey, there are so many people in here right now,” he complained.

“Well, there are ALWAYS loads of people in this shop,” I thought.

There was one section… with all Apple products: Macbooks, iPhones, iPads, Apple keyboards, airpods.

I approached this section of the shop. Got to touch “gently” the delicate surface of Apple keyboard.

“You like Apple, huh?”

“Yeah, kind of…” I said, although I knew that he belongs to the second type of people [meaning, he hates Apple].

“They are so expensive… it`s simply ridiculous. You can get the same performance paying half of the price to Huawei or Lenovo.”

I just smiled him off. I didn`t want to argue.

But if I did want to argue, I would say: “You CANNOT get the same performance from other tech brands.”

I used HP and Dell laptops. I used smartphones of Samsung and Lenovo. I also used iPhone.

[and I am writing this blogpost on a Mac].

I can say [being a hundred percent sure] this one thing:

Macbook is much more faster, smoother… simply better than HP, Lenovo, or any other computer with the same RAM, processor, and all other technical specifications [because Apple, unlike any other company, develops BOTH software and hardware ON ITS OWN. That`s why Apple products have so much fewer troubles working smoothly.]

Regarding iPhone… right now I am using Huawei Honor 8, and I am pretty happy with it. For the last year that I have been using it, I had no problems with its performance. It is really good.

[but if I could afford an iPhone, I would get one 😛]

That being said, the choice of technology is a very personal choice. What is the best smartphone or computer FOR YOU totally depends on YOUR OWN preferences and needs… depends on what you use your smartphone for.

However, I found out for myself that Apple products are the ones I want. 🙂

“Friends”

“Fatimah, I want to tell you something,” he said.

They were in a small cafe with 3 cozy sofas, a small kitchen in the basement, and one waiter.

Table. Two cups of tea.

“You are the most amazing girl I`ve ever met in my life,” his hands were shaking. “And I`m afraid… so afraid… that I might not be able to…. find a girl… like you… ever again.”

He was so stressed that he couldn`t even look at Fatimah`s eyes as he was saying this.

He thought to himself: “I should smile at her… so she understands that I`m totally honest.” and he literally “forced” the muscles on his face to smile [it was really difficult].

Fatimah noticed his struggle.

“I really think that I love you…,” he finally muttered.

She was looking at him, with her head bent to the left and with a subtle smile on her face. She was feeling happy… but surprised.

[Why happy? Because she just heard the most beautiful words, from a guy she likes.]
[Why surprised? Because she didn`t expect it that day.]

Fatimah lowered her eyes… thought for a second.

Ali got a feeling that she became sad. But he couldn’t understand why.

Then she looked at him and said, “I can only be FRIENDS with you. Right now I cannot go beyond that. Sorry.”

He felt his heart broke down, really. After all, it was the first time he fell in love with somebody so seriously.

[to be continued]

Little daughter

“I am getting married, bro 🙂,” my schoolmate messaged me from Uzbekistan like 2 years ago. I was studying in the Czech Republic.

“Congrats, my friend!” I messaged him back. I was honestly happy for him with all my heart.

Last week he messaged me on Instagram: “Qizlik bo`ldim o`rto.” [“My daughter was born, man.”]

His daughter [!!!] was born last week.

With this friend of mine we spent 5 years, sitting at one desk at school [a middle-school]. We are at the same age. And he is saying that he is now a FATHER.

“Bro…,” I messaged him. “I am so happy for you. Let her have a long life!”

I always thought that we would be together whole life [I mean, with this friend of mine]. That we would marry in the same year. That our kids would be of the same age. That our kids would go to the same school [as we did].

I was so young and naive.

If somebody of my age, who sat at the same desk with me at school, got married and already got a child [A CHILD! I still can`t get used to that], then does that mean that I should “hurry up”?

Am I legging behind? Is it time for me to be more WORRIED about building a family and things like that?

….

I had those thoughts for several moments.

But… I remember somebody told me… [I know it`s gonna be funny now… but, anyway]

Barack Obama became a President when he was 47 years old.

Donald Trump — when he reached 70.

Does that mean that Mr Obama did better than Mr Trump? That Obama is smarter, luckier, more hard-working than Trump?

“Age means nothing. It is just a number.”

To reach success, some people take it longer than others.

I came to learn that every person has a different destiny. Everybody has his own way.

So… I guess, I am doing just fine. Time will come and I will be a FATHER too 😉